Delivery Customer No. 1 Crowned In Summerville
Breaking Pizza News · July 27, 2026
Delivery Customer No. 1 Crowned In Summerville
- By Princess Margherita
- 4 Minute Read
- Satire, Served Hot
Princess Margherita makes the first run, refuses to disclose the location of the royal palace.
SUMMERVILLE, SC — At precisely 5:14 p.m., a Pine Barrens Pizza Co. box crossed a residential threshold and local history was made. The recipient, now known only as Delivery Customer No. 1, accepted the pie with the composure of someone who had definitely been watching the driver approach on a phone for the previous six minutes.
The delivery was personally supervised by Princess Margherita, the paper’s royal correspondent, pizza critic, and only employee with authority to knight a pepperoni. Witnesses report the box contained a Pepperoni & Hot Honey pie with cup-and-char pepperoni, mozzarella, Romano, and enough hot honey to make the final slice the subject of a brief but serious family negotiation.
“The cheese was still moving,” one witness said. “That is how you know it arrived correctly.” The witness declined to give a name, citing the possibility that neighbors might begin requesting slices.
“A hot pizza arriving on time is not a miracle. It is the minimum requirement of civilization.”
Pine Barrens is building its delivery program around a simple idea: pizza should leave the oven hot, travel a reasonable distance, and arrive before the family has surrendered and eaten cereal. Orders are packed for the road, checked before departure, and treated like dinner—not cargo.
The royal motorcade was reportedly a normal delivery vehicle. Princess Margherita would neither confirm nor deny whether a crown was worn inside the car. She did confirm that the garlic knots arrived with Sunday Sauce and that no dipping container was lost in transit.
Delivery Customer No. 1 received no cash prize, ceremonial key, or parade. The customer did, however, receive dinner without leaving the house, which sources close to the situation described as “better than a parade.”
Residents seeking New York-style pizza delivery in Summerville are advised to keep an eye on Pine Barrens ordering updates. The palace address remains classified.